I’m a gamer, so I to have goals. I like special missions and secret objectives. So here’s my mission for this talk: I’m going to try to increase the life span of every single person in room by seven and a half minutes. Literally, you will live and a half minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you this talk.
Some of you are looking a little skeptical. That’s okay, because check it out — I have math to prove it is possible. It won’t make much sense now. I’ll explain it later, just pay attention to the number at the bottom: +7.68245837 minutes. That will be my gift you if I’m successful in my mission.
Now, you a secret mission too. Your mission is to figure out how you want to spend your extra and a half minutes. And I think you should do unusual with them, because these are bonus minutes. You weren’t to have them anyway.
Now, because I’m a game designer, you be thinking to yourself, I know what she wants to do with those minutes, she wants us to spend them playing games. Now this a totally reasonable assumption, given that I have made quite habit of encouraging people to spend more time playing games. For example, in my TED Talk, I did propose that we should spend 21 billion hours week, as a planet, playing video games.
Now, 21 hours, it’s a lot of time. It’s so much time, in fact, that the number one unsolicited that I have heard from people all over the since I gave that talk, is this: Jane, games are great and all, but on your deathbed, you really going to wish you spent more time playing Birds?
(Laughter)
This idea is so pervasive — that games are a waste of time we will come to regret — that I hear it literally everywhere I go. For example, story: Just a few weeks ago, this cab driver, finding out that a friend and I were in town for game developers’ conference, turned around and said — and I — “I hate games. Waste of life. Imagine getting to end of your life and regretting all that time.”
Now, I want take this problem seriously. I want games to be a for good in the world. I don’t want gamers to regret the time they playing, time that I encouraged them to spend. So I have been thinking about question a lot lately. When we’re on our deathbeds, we regret the time we spent playing games?
Now, this may you, but it turns out there is actually some scientific research this question. It’s true. Hospice workers, the people who take care us at the end of our lives, recently issued a report on the most frequently expressed that people say when they are literally on their deathbeds. And that’s what I want to share with today — the top five regrets of the dying.
Number one: I wish I hadn’t worked hard. Number two: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. three: I wish I had let myself be happier. Number four: I wish I’d the courage to express my true self. And number five: I wish I’d a life true to my dreams, instead of what others expected me.
Now, as far as I know, no one ever one of the hospice workers, “I wish I’d spent more time video games,” but when I hear these top five of the dying, I can’t help but hear five deep cravings that games actually help us fulfill.
For example, I I hadn’t worked so hard. For many people, this means, I wish I’d more time with my family, with my kids when were growing up. Well, we know that playing games has tremendous family benefits. A recent study from Brigham Young University of Family Life reported that parents who spend more time playing video games with their kids have stronger real-life relationships with them.
“I wish I’d stayed in touch my friends.” Hundreds of millions of people use social games like FarmVille or Words Friends to stay in daily contact with real-life friends family. A recent study from the University of Michigan showed that these games incredibly powerful relationship-management tools. They help us stay connected with people in our social network that would otherwise grow distant from, if we weren’t playing games together.
“I I’d let myself be happier.” Well, here I can’t help but think the groundbreaking clinical trials recently conducted at East Carolina University that showed that online games can pharmaceuticals for treating clinical anxiety and depression. Just 30 minutes online game play a day was enough to create boosts in mood and long-term increases in happiness.
“I wish I’d had the courage to express my self.” Well, avatars are a way to express our true selves, our heroic, idealized version of who we might become. You see that in this alter ego portrait by Robbie Cooper of a gamer his avatar. And Stanford University has been doing research for five years now document how playing a game with an idealized avatar changes we think and act in real life, making us courageous, more ambitious, more committed to our goals.
“I wish I’d led a life true my dreams, and not what others expected of me.” Are doing this yet? I’m not sure, so I’ve left a Mario question mark. We’re going to come back to this one.
But the meantime, perhaps you’re wondering, who is this game designer to be talking us about deathbed regrets? And it’s true, I’ve never worked in a hospice, I’ve never on my deathbed. But recently I did spend three in bed, wanting to die. Really wanting to die.
Now let tell you that story. It started two years ago, when hit my head and got a concussion. The concussion didn’t heal properly, and after 30 days, I was left symptoms like nonstop headaches, nausea, vertigo, memory loss, mental fog. My told me that in order to heal my brain, I had to rest it. So I to avoid everything that triggered my symptoms. For me that meant reading, no writing, no video games, no work or email, no running, no alcohol, no caffeine. In words — and I think you see where this is — no reason to live.
(Laughter)
Of course it’s to be funny, but in all seriousness, suicidal ideation is common with traumatic brain injuries. It happens to one in three, and happened to me. My brain started telling me, “Jane, want to die.” It said, “You’re never going to better.” It said, “The pain will never end.”
And these voices became so persistent and persuasive that I started to legitimately fear for my life, which is the time that I said myself after 34 days — and I will never this moment — I said, “I am either going to kill myself I’m going to turn this into a game.”
Now, why game? I knew from researching the psychology of games more than a decade that when we play a game — and this is the scientific literature — we tackle tough challenges with creativity, more determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely to reach out others for help. I wanted to bring these gamer traits to real-life challenge, so I created a role-playing recovery game called Jane Concussion Slayer.
Now this became my new secret identity, and the thing I did as a slayer was call my twin sister — I have an identical twin named Kelly — and tell her, “I’m playing a to heal my brain, and I want you to play with me.” This an easier way to ask for help.
She became my first in the game, my husband Kiyash joined next, and together we identified and the bad guys. Now this was anything that could trigger my symptoms and therefore slow the healing process, things like bright lights and crowded spaces. We also collected activated power-ups. This was anything I could do on even worst day to feel just a little bit good, just a little bit productive. like cuddling my dog for 10 minutes, or getting of bed and walking around the block just once.
Now game was that simple: Adopt a secret identity, recruit your allies, the bad guys, activate the power-ups. But even with a game so simple, within just a couple of starting to play, that fog of depression and went away. It just vanished. It felt like a miracle. Now it wasn’t miracle cure for the headaches or the cognitive symptoms. lasted for more than a year, and it was the hardest of my life by far. But even when I still had the symptoms, even while I still in pain, I stopped suffering.
Now what happened with the game surprised me. I put up some posts and videos online, explaining how to play. But everybody has a concussion, obviously, not everyone wants to “the slayer,” so I renamed the game SuperBetter.
And soon, I started from people all over the world who were adopting their secret identity, recruiting their own allies, and they were “super better,” facing challenges like cancer and chronic pain, depression Crohn’s disease. Even people were playing it for terminal diagnoses like ALS. And I could tell from messages and their videos that the game was helping in the same ways that it helped me. They talked about feeling stronger and braver. talked about feeling better understood by their friends and family. And they talked about feeling happier, even though they were in pain, even though were tackling the toughest challenge of their lives.
Now at the time, I’m to myself, what is going on here? I mean, how could a game so trivial intervene so powerfully such serious, and in some cases life-and-death, circumstances? I mean, if hadn’t worked for me, there’s no way I would believed it was possible. Well, it turns out there’s some science here, too. people get stronger and happier after a traumatic event. And that’s what happening to us.
The game was helping us experience what scientists post-traumatic growth, which is not something we usually hear about. We usually hear about post-traumatic stress disorder. But now know that a traumatic event doesn’t doom us to indefinitely. Instead, we can use it as a springboard to unleash our best qualities lead happier lives.
Here are the top five things that people with post-traumatic growth say: “My have changed.” “I’m not afraid to do what makes me happy.” “I feel to my friends and family.” “I understand myself better. know who I really am now.” “I have a new sense meaning and purpose in my life.” “I’m better able to focus on my goals and dreams.”
Now, this sound familiar? It should, because the top five traits of post-traumatic are essentially the direct opposite of the top five regrets of the dying. this is interesting, right? It seems that somehow, a event can unlock our ability to lead a life with regrets.
But how does it work? How do you from trauma to growth? Or better yet, is there a way to get all the benefits post-traumatic growth without the trauma, without having to hit your in the first place? That would be good, right?
I wanted to the phenomenon better, so I devoured the scientific literature, and here’s I learned. There are four kinds of strength, or resilience, contribute to post-traumatic growth, and there are scientifically validated that you can do every day to build up these four kinds resilience, and you don’t need a trauma to do it.
I tell you what these four types of strength are, but I’d rather you them firsthand. I’d rather we all start building them up together right now. Here’s what we’re going do. We’ll play a quick game together. This is where you earn the and a half minutes of bonus life that I promised you earlier. All have to do is successfully complete the first four quests. And I feel like you can do it. have confidence in you.
So, everybody ready? This is your quest. Here we go. Pick one: Stand up and take three steps, or make your into fists, raise them over your head as high as can for five seconds, go! All right, I like the people doing both. are overachievers. Very good.
(Laughter)
Well done, everyone. That is worth +1 physical resilience, which means that your can withstand more stress and heal itself faster. We know from the research that number one thing you can do to boost your physical resilience is not sit still. That’s all it takes. Every single second you are not sitting still, you are actively improving the health your heart, and your lungs and brains.
Everybody ready for your next quest? I want you snap your fingers exactly 50 times, or count backwards from 100 by seven, this: 100, 93… Go!
(Snapping)
Don’t give up.
(Snapping)
Don’t let people counting down from 100 interfere with your counting to 50.
(Snapping)
(Laughter)
Nice. Wow. That’s first time I’ve ever seen that. Bonus physical resilience. done, everyone. Now that’s worth +1 mental resilience, which means you more mental focus, more discipline, determination and willpower. We know from scientific research that willpower actually works like a muscle. It gets stronger the you exercise it. So tackling a tiny challenge without up, even one as absurd as snapping your fingers 50 times or counting backwards from 100 by seven is a scientifically validated way to boost your willpower.
So job. Quest number three. Pick one: Because of the room, fate’s determined this for you, but here are the two options. If you’re inside, find window and look out of it. If you’re outside, a window and look in. Or do a quick YouTube or Google image search “baby [your favorite animal.]”
Do it on your phones, or just shout out baby animals, and I’ll put them on the screen. So, do we want to see? Sloth, giraffe, elephant, snake. Okay, let’s see we got. Baby dolphin and baby llamas. Everybody look. Got that? Okay, one more. elephant.
(Audience) Oh!
We’re clapping for that? That’s amazing.
(Laughter)
All right, what we’re just feeling is plus-one emotional resilience, which means you have the ability provoke powerful, positive emotions like curiosity or love, which feel looking at baby animals, when you need them most.
Here’s a secret from scientific literature for you. If you can manage to experience three positive emotions for every one negative over the course of an hour, a day, a week, you dramatically your health and your ability to successfully tackle any you’re facing. And this is called the three-to-one positive ratio. It’s my favorite SuperBetter trick, so keep it up.
All right, pick one, last quest: Shake someone’s hand six seconds, or send someone a quick thank you by text, email, Facebook Twitter. Go!
(Chatting)
Looking good, looking good. Nice, nice. it up. I love it! All right, everybody, that is +1 social resilience, which means you actually get strength from your friends, your neighbors, your family, your community. Now, a great way to boost social is gratitude. Touch is even better.
Here’s one more secret for you: Shaking someone’s hand for six seconds raises the level of oxytocin in your bloodstream, now that’s trust hormone. That means that all of you who shook hands are biochemically primed to like and want to each other. This will linger during the break, so take advantage the networking opportunities.
(Laughter)
Well, you have successfully completed four quests, let’s see if I’ve successfully completed my mission to give you seven and a minutes of bonus life. Now I get to share one more bit of science with you. It turns out that people regularly boost these four types of resilience — physical, mental, emotional and — live 10 years longer than everyone else. So this true. If you are regularly achieving the three-to-one positive ratio, if you are never sitting still for more than an hour at a time, you are reaching out to one person you care about single day, if you are tackling tiny goals to boost your willpower, you will live 10 years than everyone else, and here’s where that math I showed you comes in.
So, the average life expectancy in the U.S. and the U.K. is 78.1 years, but we from more than 1,000 peer-reviewed scientific studies that you can add 10 years of life by your four types of resilience. So every single year that you boosting your four types of resilience, you’re actually earning .128 more years life or 46 more days of life, or 67,298 minutes of life, which means every single day, you earning 184 minutes of life, or every single hour that you boosting your four types of resilience, like we just together, you are earning 7.68245837 more minutes of life.
Congratulations, seven and a half minutes are all yours. You earned them.
Yeah!
(Applause)
Awesome. Wait, wait, wait. You have your special mission, your secret mission. How are you going spend these minutes of bonus life?
Well, here’s my suggestion. These seven and a half bonus are kind of like genie’s wishes. You can use your wish to wish for a million more wishes. Pretty clever, right? So, if you these seven and a half minutes today doing something makes you happy, or that gets you physically active, puts you in touch with someone you care about, even just tackling a tiny challenge, you’re going to boost resilience, so you’re going to earn more minutes.
And the news is, you can keep going like that. Every hour of the day, every day your life, all the way to your deathbed, which will now be 10 years later than it have otherwise. And when you get there, more than likely, you will not have any of those top regrets, because you will have built up the strength and resilience to lead a life truer your dreams. And with 10 extra years, you might even have enough time to play a few games.
Thank you.
(Applause)