I’m gamer, so I like to have goals. I like missions and secret objectives. So here’s my special mission for talk: I’m going to try to increase the life span of single person in this room by seven and a half minutes. Literally, will live seven and a half minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you watched talk.
Some of you are looking a little bit skeptical. That’s okay, because check it — I have math to prove that it is possible. It won’t make much now. I’ll explain it all later, just pay attention to number at the bottom: +7.68245837 minutes. That will be gift to you if I’m successful in my mission.
Now, you a secret mission too. Your mission is to figure out you want to spend your extra seven and a minutes. And I think you should do something unusual them, because these are bonus minutes. You weren’t going to them anyway.
Now, because I’m a game designer, you be thinking to yourself, I know what she wants to do with those minutes, she wants us to spend them playing games. this is a totally reasonable assumption, given that I have quite a habit of encouraging people to spend more time playing games. For example, in my first Talk, I did propose that we should spend 21 billion hours a week, as planet, playing video games.
Now, 21 billion hours, it’s a lot of time. It’s much time, in fact, that the number one unsolicited comment that I have heard from all over the world since I gave that talk, is this: Jane, are great and all, but on your deathbed, are you really going to wish you spent more playing Angry Birds?
(Laughter)
This idea is so pervasive — that games are waste of time that we will come to regret — that I hear literally everywhere I go. For example, true story: Just a few weeks ago, this cab driver, finding out that a friend and I were in town a game developers’ conference, turned around and said — I quote — “I hate games. Waste of life. Imagine getting to the end your life and regretting all that time.”
Now, I want to take problem seriously. I want games to be a force good in the world. I don’t want gamers to the time they spent playing, time that I encouraged them spend. So I have been thinking about this question a lately. When we’re on our deathbeds, will we regret the time spent playing games?
Now, this may surprise you, but turns out there is actually some scientific research on this question. It’s true. Hospice workers, the people take care of us at the end of our lives, recently issued report on the most frequently expressed regrets that people when they are literally on their deathbeds. And that’s what want to share with you today — the top five regrets the dying.
Number one: I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. two: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Number three: I I had let myself be happier. Number four: I I’d had the courage to express my true self. number five: I wish I’d lived a life true to my dreams, of what others expected of me.
Now, as far as know, no one ever told one of the hospice workers, “I wish I’d spent more playing video games,” but when I hear these top five of the dying, I can’t help but hear five deep human cravings that games actually help fulfill.
For example, I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. many people, this means, I wish I’d spent more with my family, with my kids when they were up. Well, we know that playing games together has tremendous family benefits. A recent study Brigham Young University School of Family Life reported that parents who spend more time playing video games with kids have much stronger real-life relationships with them.
“I I’d stayed in touch with my friends.” Hundreds of millions people use social games like FarmVille or Words With Friends to in daily contact with real-life friends and family. A recent study from the of Michigan showed that these games are incredibly powerful relationship-management tools. help us stay connected with people in our social network that we otherwise grow distant from, if we weren’t playing games together.
“I wish I’d myself be happier.” Well, here I can’t help but think of the groundbreaking clinical trials conducted at East Carolina University that showed that online games can outperform pharmaceuticals for treating clinical anxiety depression. Just 30 minutes of online game play a was enough to create dramatic boosts in mood and long-term in happiness.
“I wish I’d had the courage to express true self.” Well, avatars are a way to express our selves, our most heroic, idealized version of who we might become. You see that in this alter ego portrait by Robbie Cooper of a gamer with his avatar. Stanford University has been doing research for five years now to document how playing a game with idealized avatar changes how we think and act in real life, making us more courageous, more ambitious, committed to our goals.
“I wish I’d led a true to my dreams, and not what others expected of me.” Are doing this yet? I’m not sure, so I’ve left a Super Mario question mark. We’re going to back to this one.
But in the meantime, perhaps you’re wondering, who is this game designer be talking to us about deathbed regrets? And it’s true, I’ve never worked in a hospice, I’ve never been my deathbed. But recently I did spend three months in bed, wanting die. Really wanting to die.
Now let me tell you that story. started two years ago, when I hit my head got a concussion. The concussion didn’t heal properly, and after 30 days, I was left with like nonstop headaches, nausea, vertigo, memory loss, mental fog. My doctor told me that in to heal my brain, I had to rest it. So I to avoid everything that triggered my symptoms. For me that meant no reading, no writing, video games, no work or email, no running, no alcohol, caffeine. In other words — and I think you where this is going — no reason to live.
(Laughter)
Of course it’s meant be funny, but in all seriousness, suicidal ideation is quite common with traumatic brain injuries. It to one in three, and it happened to me. My brain telling me, “Jane, you want to die.” It said, “You’re never going to better.” It said, “The pain will never end.”
And these voices became so persistent and so persuasive I started to legitimately fear for my life, which the time that I said to myself after 34 — and I will never forget this moment — said, “I am either going to kill myself or I’m going to turn this into a game.”
Now, why game? I knew from researching the psychology of games for more than a decade that when we play game — and this is in the scientific literature — we tackle tough challenges with more creativity, determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely to reach out to others for help. I to bring these gamer traits to my real-life challenge, I created a role-playing recovery game called Jane the Concussion Slayer.
Now this became my new identity, and the first thing I did as a slayer was my twin sister — I have an identical twin sister named — and tell her, “I’m playing a game to heal my brain, I want you to play with me.” This was easier way to ask for help.
She became my ally in the game, my husband Kiyash joined next, together we identified and battled the bad guys. Now was anything that could trigger my symptoms and therefore slow down the healing process, things like bright and crowded spaces. We also collected and activated power-ups. This was anything could do on even my worst day to feel just little bit good, just a little bit productive. Things like cuddling dog for 10 minutes, or getting out of bed and walking the block just once.
Now the game was that simple: Adopt secret identity, recruit your allies, battle the bad guys, activate the power-ups. But even with game so simple, within just a couple days of starting to play, that fog of depression anxiety went away. It just vanished. It felt like a miracle. Now it wasn’t a miracle for the headaches or the cognitive symptoms. That lasted for more than a year, it was the hardest year of my life by far. even when I still had the symptoms, even while I was still pain, I stopped suffering.
Now what happened next with the game surprised me. I put up some posts and videos online, explaining how to play. But not everybody has concussion, obviously, not everyone wants to be “the slayer,” so I the game SuperBetter.
And soon, I started hearing from all over the world who were adopting their own identity, recruiting their own allies, and they were getting “super better,” facing challenges like cancer and pain, depression and Crohn’s disease. Even people were playing it for terminal diagnoses ALS. And I could tell from their messages and videos that the game was helping them in the same ways that it helped me. They talked feeling stronger and braver. They talked about feeling better understood their friends and family. And they even talked about happier, even though they were in pain, even though they were the toughest challenge of their lives.
Now at the time, I’m thinking to myself, what is on here? I mean, how could a game so trivial so powerfully in such serious, and in some cases life-and-death, circumstances? I mean, if hadn’t worked for me, there’s no way I would have believed it was possible. Well, it out there’s some science here, too. Some people get stronger and after a traumatic event. And that’s what was happening us.
The game was helping us experience what scientists post-traumatic growth, which is not something we usually hear about. We usually hear about post-traumatic stress disorder. scientists now know that a traumatic event doesn’t doom us to indefinitely. Instead, we can use it as a springboard to unleash our best and lead happier lives.
Here are the top five that people with post-traumatic growth say: “My priorities have changed.” “I’m not afraid to do makes me happy.” “I feel closer to my friends and family.” “I understand myself better. I who I really am now.” “I have a new sense meaning and purpose in my life.” “I’m better able focus on my goals and dreams.”
Now, does this sound familiar? It should, the top five traits of post-traumatic growth are essentially direct opposite of the top five regrets of the dying. Now this is interesting, right? It seems somehow, a traumatic event can unlock our ability to lead a with fewer regrets.
But how does it work? How you get from trauma to growth? Or better yet, is there a way get all the benefits of post-traumatic growth without the trauma, without having to your head in the first place? That would be good, right?
I wanted understand the phenomenon better, so I devoured the scientific literature, and here’s I learned. There are four kinds of strength, or resilience, that contribute post-traumatic growth, and there are scientifically validated activities that you can do every day to build up these kinds of resilience, and you don’t need a trauma to it.
I could tell you what these four types of strength are, I’d rather you experience them firsthand. I’d rather we all start them up together right now. Here’s what we’re going do. We’ll play a quick game together. This is where you the seven and a half minutes of bonus life that promised you earlier. All you have to do is successfully complete first four SuperBetter quests. And I feel like you can do it. I have confidence in you.
So, ready? This is your first quest. Here we go. one: Stand up and take three steps, or make hands into fists, raise them over your head as as you can for five seconds, go! All right, like the people doing both. You are overachievers. Very good.
(Laughter)
Well done, everyone. is worth +1 physical resilience, which means that your can withstand more stress and heal itself faster. We from the research that the number one thing you can to boost your physical resilience is to not sit still. That’s all it takes. Every single second you are not sitting still, you are actively improving the health of your heart, your lungs and brains.
Everybody ready for your next quest? I you to snap your fingers exactly 50 times, or count from 100 by seven, like this: 100, 93… Go!
(Snapping)
Don’t give up.
(Snapping)
Don’t the people counting down from 100 interfere with your counting 50.
(Snapping)
(Laughter)
Nice. Wow. That’s the first time I’ve ever that. Bonus physical resilience. Well done, everyone. Now that’s +1 mental resilience, which means you have more mental focus, discipline, determination and willpower. We know from the scientific that willpower actually works like a muscle. It gets stronger the more you exercise it. So a tiny challenge without giving up, even one as absurd as snapping your fingers 50 times or counting backwards from 100 by seven is a scientifically validated way to boost your willpower.
So good job. number three. Pick one: Because of the room, fate’s determined this for you, but here are the two options. If you’re inside, find a window and out of it. If you’re outside, find a window and look in. Or do a quick YouTube or image search for “baby [your favorite animal.]”
Do it your phones, or just shout out some baby animals, I’ll put them on the screen. So, what do we to see? Sloth, giraffe, elephant, snake. Okay, let’s see what we got. Baby dolphin and baby llamas. look. Got that? Okay, one more. Baby elephant.
(Audience) Oh!
We’re clapping for that? That’s amazing.
(Laughter)
All right, we’re just feeling there is plus-one emotional resilience, which means you have ability to provoke powerful, positive emotions like curiosity or love, which we feel looking at baby animals, you need them most.
Here’s a secret from the literature for you. If you can manage to experience three positive emotions for every one negative emotion the course of an hour, a day, a week, you dramatically your health and your ability to successfully tackle any you’re facing. And this is called the three-to-one positive ratio. It’s my favorite SuperBetter trick, so keep it up.
All right, pick one, quest: Shake someone’s hand for six seconds, or send someone a quick you by text, email, Facebook or Twitter. Go!
(Chatting)
Looking good, good. Nice, nice. Keep it up. I love it! All right, everybody, is +1 social resilience, which means you actually get more strength from friends, your neighbors, your family, your community. Now, a great way boost social resilience is gratitude. Touch is even better.
Here’s one secret for you: Shaking someone’s hand for six seconds dramatically raises the of oxytocin in your bloodstream, now that’s the trust hormone. means that all of you who just shook hands are biochemically primed like and want to help each other. This will linger the break, so take advantage of the networking opportunities.
(Laughter)
Well, you have successfully completed four quests, let’s see if I’ve successfully completed my mission to give you seven and half minutes of bonus life. Now I get to share one more bit of science with you. It turns out that people who regularly boost these four types of — physical, mental, emotional and social — live 10 years than everyone else. So this is true. If you are regularly the three-to-one positive emotion ratio, if you are never sitting still for than an hour at a time, if you are reaching to one person you care about every single day, if you tackling tiny goals to boost your willpower, you will live 10 years than everyone else, and here’s where that math I you earlier comes in.
So, the average life expectancy in the U.S. and U.K. is 78.1 years, but we know from more than 1,000 peer-reviewed studies that you can add 10 years of life by boosting your four types of resilience. every single year that you are boosting your four types resilience, you’re actually earning .128 more years of life 46 more days of life, or 67,298 more minutes life, which means every single day, you are earning 184 minutes of life, or every single hour that are boosting your four types of resilience, like we just together, you are earning 7.68245837 more minutes of life.
Congratulations, those and a half minutes are all yours. You totally them.
Yeah!
(Applause)
Awesome. Wait, wait, wait. You still have your mission, your secret mission. How are you going to spend minutes of bonus life?
Well, here’s my suggestion. These seven and a half bonus minutes kind of like genie’s wishes. You can use your first to wish for a million more wishes. Pretty clever, right? So, if spend these seven and a half minutes today doing something that makes happy, or that gets you physically active, or puts you in touch with someone you care about, or just tackling a tiny challenge, you’re going to boost your resilience, you’re going to earn more minutes.
And the good news is, you can going like that. Every hour of the day, every day of life, all the way to your deathbed, which will now 10 years later than it would have otherwise. And when you get there, more than likely, will not have any of those top five regrets, because you will have built the strength and resilience to lead a life truer to your dreams. And 10 extra years, you might even have enough time to play a more games.
Thank you.
(Applause)