I’m a gamer, so like to have goals. I like special missions and objectives. So here’s my special mission for this talk: I’m going try to increase the life span of every single person in this room by seven a half minutes. Literally, you will live seven and a half minutes longer you would have otherwise, just because you watched this talk.
Some you are looking a little bit skeptical. That’s okay, because it out — I have math to prove that it is possible. It won’t much sense now. I’ll explain it all later, just attention to the number at the bottom: +7.68245837 minutes. That will my gift to you if I’m successful in my mission.
Now, have a secret mission too. Your mission is to figure out how you want to your extra seven and a half minutes. And I you should do something unusual with them, because these are bonus minutes. You weren’t going have them anyway.
Now, because I’m a game designer, you might be thinking to yourself, know what she wants us to do with those minutes, she wants us to spend them playing games. this is a totally reasonable assumption, given that I have quite a habit of encouraging people to spend more time playing games. For example, my first TED Talk, I did propose that we spend 21 billion hours a week, as a planet, playing video games.
Now, 21 billion hours, it’s a of time. It’s so much time, in fact, that the number one unsolicited comment I have heard from people all over the world since gave that talk, is this: Jane, games are great and all, but on deathbed, are you really going to wish you spent time playing Angry Birds?
(Laughter)
This idea is so pervasive — games are a waste of time that we will come regret — that I hear it literally everywhere I go. example, true story: Just a few weeks ago, this cab driver, upon finding out that a friend I were in town for a game developers’ conference, turned around and said — and I — “I hate games. Waste of life. Imagine getting to the end of life and regretting all that time.”
Now, I want take this problem seriously. I want games to be a force good in the world. I don’t want gamers to regret the time they spent playing, that I encouraged them to spend. So I have been thinking about this a lot lately. When we’re on our deathbeds, will regret the time we spent playing games?
Now, this may you, but it turns out there is actually some scientific research on this question. It’s true. Hospice workers, people who take care of us at the end of our lives, recently issued report on the most frequently expressed regrets that people say when they are literally their deathbeds. And that’s what I want to share with you today — the top five regrets of dying.
Number one: I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Number two: wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. three: I wish I had let myself be happier. four: I wish I’d had the courage to express true self. And number five: I wish I’d lived a life true to dreams, instead of what others expected of me.
Now, far as I know, no one ever told one of hospice workers, “I wish I’d spent more time playing video games,” when I hear these top five regrets of the dying, can’t help but hear five deep human cravings that actually help us fulfill.
For example, I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. many people, this means, I wish I’d spent more time with my family, with my when they were growing up. Well, we know that playing games together has family benefits. A recent study from Brigham Young University School of Family Life reported parents who spend more time playing video games with kids have much stronger real-life relationships with them.
“I wish I’d stayed in touch my friends.” Hundreds of millions of people use social games like FarmVille or Words With to stay in daily contact with real-life friends and family. A recent study from University of Michigan showed that these games are incredibly powerful relationship-management tools. They help us stay with people in our social network that we would grow distant from, if we weren’t playing games together.
“I I’d let myself be happier.” Well, here I can’t but think of the groundbreaking clinical trials recently conducted at East University that showed that online games can outperform pharmaceuticals treating clinical anxiety and depression. Just 30 minutes of game play a day was enough to create dramatic boosts in and long-term increases in happiness.
“I wish I’d had courage to express my true self.” Well, avatars are a to express our true selves, our most heroic, idealized version of who we might become. You see that in this alter ego portrait by Robbie of a gamer with his avatar. And Stanford University has been doing research for years now to document how playing a game with an avatar changes how we think and act in real life, making us more courageous, more ambitious, committed to our goals.
“I wish I’d led a true to my dreams, and not what others expected of me.” Are doing this yet? I’m not sure, so I’ve left a Super Mario question mark. We’re going to come to this one.
But in the meantime, perhaps you’re wondering, who is game designer to be talking to us about deathbed regrets? it’s true, I’ve never worked in a hospice, I’ve been on my deathbed. But recently I did spend three months bed, wanting to die. Really wanting to die.
Now let me tell you story. It started two years ago, when I hit my and got a concussion. The concussion didn’t heal properly, and after 30 days, I left with symptoms like nonstop headaches, nausea, vertigo, memory loss, mental fog. My doctor me that in order to heal my brain, I had to rest it. So I had to everything that triggered my symptoms. For me that meant reading, no writing, no video games, no work or email, no running, no alcohol, no caffeine. In other — and I think you see where this is going — reason to live.
(Laughter)
Of course it’s meant to be funny, but in all seriousness, suicidal ideation is common with traumatic brain injuries. It happens to one in three, it happened to me. My brain started telling me, “Jane, want to die.” It said, “You’re never going to get better.” It said, “The will never end.”
And these voices became so persistent and persuasive that I started to legitimately fear for my life, which is the that I said to myself after 34 days — I will never forget this moment — I said, “I am either to kill myself or I’m going to turn this into game.”
Now, why a game? I knew from researching the of games for more than a decade that when we play a game — and this is the scientific literature — we tackle tough challenges with creativity, more determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely reach out to others for help. I wanted to bring these gamer to my real-life challenge, so I created a role-playing recovery called Jane the Concussion Slayer.
Now this became my secret identity, and the first thing I did as slayer was call my twin sister — I have an identical twin named Kelly — and tell her, “I’m playing a game to heal my brain, and I want you play with me.” This was an easier way to for help.
She became my first ally in the game, my husband Kiyash joined next, and together we identified battled the bad guys. Now this was anything that could trigger my symptoms therefore slow down the healing process, things like bright lights and crowded spaces. also collected and activated power-ups. This was anything I could do on even my day to feel just a little bit good, just a little productive. Things like cuddling my dog for 10 minutes, or getting out of and walking around the block just once.
Now the game that simple: Adopt a secret identity, recruit your allies, battle bad guys, activate the power-ups. But even with a so simple, within just a couple days of starting to play, that fog of depression anxiety went away. It just vanished. It felt like a miracle. Now it wasn’t miracle cure for the headaches or the cognitive symptoms. That lasted for more a year, and it was the hardest year of my life by far. But even when I had the symptoms, even while I was still in pain, I suffering.
Now what happened next with the game surprised me. I put up blog posts and videos online, explaining how to play. not everybody has a concussion, obviously, not everyone wants to be “the slayer,” so I the game SuperBetter.
And soon, I started hearing from people all the world who were adopting their own secret identity, their own allies, and they were getting “super better,” challenges like cancer and chronic pain, depression and Crohn’s disease. Even people were playing it for terminal diagnoses ALS. And I could tell from their messages and their that the game was helping them in the same ways that helped me. They talked about feeling stronger and braver. They talked feeling better understood by their friends and family. And they even about feeling happier, even though they were in pain, even though they were tackling toughest challenge of their lives.
Now at the time, I’m thinking myself, what is going on here? I mean, how could a game so intervene so powerfully in such serious, and in some life-and-death, circumstances? I mean, if it hadn’t worked for me, there’s way I would have believed it was possible. Well, it turns there’s some science here, too. Some people get stronger and happier a traumatic event. And that’s what was happening to us.
The game helping us experience what scientists call post-traumatic growth, which not something we usually hear about. We usually hear post-traumatic stress disorder. But scientists now know that a traumatic event doesn’t us to suffer indefinitely. Instead, we can use it as springboard to unleash our best qualities and lead happier lives.
Here the top five things that people with post-traumatic growth say: “My have changed.” “I’m not afraid to do what makes me happy.” “I feel closer to friends and family.” “I understand myself better. I know who I really am now.” “I a new sense of meaning and purpose in my life.” “I’m better able focus on my goals and dreams.”
Now, does this sound familiar? It should, because top five traits of post-traumatic growth are essentially the direct opposite the top five regrets of the dying. Now this is interesting, right? It seems that somehow, a traumatic can unlock our ability to lead a life with fewer regrets.
But how it work? How do you get from trauma to growth? better yet, is there a way to get all the benefits of post-traumatic growth without the trauma, without to hit your head in the first place? That would be good, right?
I wanted to understand the better, so I devoured the scientific literature, and here’s what I learned. are four kinds of strength, or resilience, that contribute to post-traumatic growth, there are scientifically validated activities that you can do day to build up these four kinds of resilience, and you don’t need a to do it.
I could tell you what these four of strength are, but I’d rather you experience them firsthand. I’d rather all start building them up together right now. Here’s we’re going to do. We’ll play a quick game together. is where you earn the seven and a half of bonus life that I promised you earlier. All you have to is successfully complete the first four SuperBetter quests. And I feel like you can do it. I confidence in you.
So, everybody ready? This is your first quest. Here we go. Pick one: Stand and take three steps, or make your hands into fists, raise them over head as high as you can for five seconds, go! All right, I like the doing both. You are overachievers. Very good.
(Laughter)
Well done, everyone. That is worth +1 physical resilience, which means that body can withstand more stress and heal itself faster. know from the research that the number one thing you can to boost your physical resilience is to not sit still. That’s all it takes. single second that you are not sitting still, you are improving the health of your heart, and your lungs and brains.
Everybody for your next quest? I want you to snap your exactly 50 times, or count backwards from 100 by seven, this: 100, 93… Go!
(Snapping)
Don’t give up.
(Snapping)
Don’t let the people counting from 100 interfere with your counting to 50.
(Snapping)
(Laughter)
Nice. Wow. That’s the first I’ve ever seen that. Bonus physical resilience. Well done, everyone. that’s worth +1 mental resilience, which means you have more focus, more discipline, determination and willpower. We know from scientific research that willpower actually works like a muscle. It gets stronger the more exercise it. So tackling a tiny challenge without giving up, even one absurd as snapping your fingers exactly 50 times or backwards from 100 by seven is actually a scientifically way to boost your willpower.
So good job. Quest three. Pick one: Because of the room, fate’s really this for you, but here are the two options. If you’re inside, find a window and look out it. If you’re outside, find a window and look in. Or a quick YouTube or Google image search for “baby [your favorite animal.]”
Do it your phones, or just shout out some baby animals, and I’ll them on the screen. So, what do we want see? Sloth, giraffe, elephant, snake. Okay, let’s see what we got. Baby dolphin and baby llamas. Everybody look. that? Okay, one more. Baby elephant.
(Audience) Oh!
We’re clapping that? That’s amazing.
(Laughter)
All right, what we’re just feeling there is plus-one emotional resilience, which you have the ability to provoke powerful, positive emotions like curiosity or love, which we feel at baby animals, when you need them most.
Here’s secret from the scientific literature for you. If you manage to experience three positive emotions for every one negative over the course of an hour, a day, a week, you dramatically improve your health your ability to successfully tackle any problem you’re facing. And this is the three-to-one positive emotion ratio. It’s my favorite SuperBetter trick, so keep it up.
All right, one, last quest: Shake someone’s hand for six seconds, send someone a quick thank you by text, email, or Twitter. Go!
(Chatting)
Looking good, looking good. Nice, nice. it up. I love it! All right, everybody, that +1 social resilience, which means you actually get more strength from friends, your neighbors, your family, your community. Now, a great way to boost social resilience is gratitude. Touch even better.
Here’s one more secret for you: Shaking someone’s for six seconds dramatically raises the level of oxytocin your bloodstream, now that’s the trust hormone. That means that all of you who just shook hands are primed to like and want to help each other. will linger during the break, so take advantage of the networking opportunities.
(Laughter)
Well, you have successfully completed four quests, let’s see if I’ve successfully completed my to give you seven and a half minutes of bonus life. Now get to share one more little bit of science with you. It turns out that people who regularly these four types of resilience — physical, mental, emotional and social — live 10 years longer everyone else. So this is true. If you are achieving the three-to-one positive emotion ratio, if you are never sitting for more than an hour at a time, if you are reaching to one person you care about every single day, if you are tiny goals to boost your willpower, you will live 10 years longer everyone else, and here’s where that math I showed you comes in.
So, the average life expectancy in the U.S. the U.K. is 78.1 years, but we know from more than 1,000 peer-reviewed scientific that you can add 10 years of life by boosting your four of resilience. So every single year that you are boosting your four types of resilience, you’re earning .128 more years of life or 46 more days life, or 67,298 more minutes of life, which means single day, you are earning 184 minutes of life, or single hour that you are boosting your four types of resilience, like we just together, you are earning 7.68245837 more minutes of life.
Congratulations, seven and a half minutes are all yours. You earned them.
Yeah!
(Applause)
Awesome. Wait, wait, wait. You have your special mission, your secret mission. How are you going spend these minutes of bonus life?
Well, here’s my suggestion. These seven and a bonus minutes are kind of like genie’s wishes. You can use first wish to wish for a million more wishes. clever, right? So, if you spend these seven and a half today doing something that makes you happy, or that gets physically active, or puts you in touch with someone you care about, even just tackling a tiny challenge, you’re going to boost resilience, so you’re going to earn more minutes.
And the good is, you can keep going like that. Every hour the day, every day of your life, all the way your deathbed, which will now be 10 years later than it would otherwise. And when you get there, more than likely, you not have any of those top five regrets, because you will have built the strength and resilience to lead a life truer to your dreams. And with 10 years, you might even have enough time to play a few games.
Thank you.
(Applause)