I’m a gamer, so like to have goals. I like special missions and objectives. So here’s my special mission for this talk: I’m going to try to increase the life of every single person in this room by seven and a minutes. Literally, you will live seven and a half minutes longer you would have otherwise, just because you watched this talk.
Some you are looking a little bit skeptical. That’s okay, because check out — I have math to prove that it is possible. It won’t much sense now. I’ll explain it all later, just pay attention the number at the bottom: +7.68245837 minutes. That will be gift to you if I’m successful in my mission.
Now, you have secret mission too. Your mission is to figure out how want to spend your extra seven and a half minutes. And think you should do something unusual with them, because these bonus minutes. You weren’t going to have them anyway.
Now, because I’m a game designer, might be thinking to yourself, I know what she wants us do with those minutes, she wants us to spend playing games. Now this is a totally reasonable assumption, given that I made quite a habit of encouraging people to spend time playing games. For example, in my first TED Talk, did propose that we should spend 21 billion hours a week, as planet, playing video games.
Now, 21 billion hours, it’s a of time. It’s so much time, in fact, that the one unsolicited comment that I have heard from people all over world since I gave that talk, is this: Jane, games are great all, but on your deathbed, are you really going wish you spent more time playing Angry Birds?
(Laughter)
This idea so pervasive — that games are a waste of time that will come to regret — that I hear it literally everywhere go. For example, true story: Just a few weeks ago, this cab driver, upon finding out a friend and I were in town for a game developers’ conference, turned around said — and I quote — “I hate games. of life. Imagine getting to the end of your and regretting all that time.”
Now, I want to take problem seriously. I want games to be a force for in the world. I don’t want gamers to regret the time spent playing, time that I encouraged them to spend. So have been thinking about this question a lot lately. When we’re our deathbeds, will we regret the time we spent playing games?
Now, this may surprise you, but turns out there is actually some scientific research on this question. It’s true. Hospice workers, people who take care of us at the end of our lives, recently issued a report on most frequently expressed regrets that people say when they are literally on their deathbeds. And that’s I want to share with you today — the top regrets of the dying.
Number one: I wish I hadn’t so hard. Number two: I wish I had stayed in with my friends. Number three: I wish I had let myself happier. Number four: I wish I’d had the courage to express my true self. And five: I wish I’d lived a life true to my dreams, instead of what others of me.
Now, as far as I know, no ever told one of the hospice workers, “I wish I’d more time playing video games,” but when I hear top five regrets of the dying, I can’t help but hear five deep human cravings that games actually us fulfill.
For example, I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. many people, this means, I wish I’d spent more time my family, with my kids when they were growing up. Well, know that playing games together has tremendous family benefits. A recent from Brigham Young University School of Family Life reported that parents who spend more time playing games with their kids have much stronger real-life relationships them.
“I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.” Hundreds of of people use social games like FarmVille or Words With Friends to in daily contact with real-life friends and family. A recent study from the University of showed that these games are incredibly powerful relationship-management tools. They help us stay connected with people in our network that we would otherwise grow distant from, if we weren’t playing games together.
“I wish I’d myself be happier.” Well, here I can’t help but think of the groundbreaking clinical recently conducted at East Carolina University that showed that online games can outperform for treating clinical anxiety and depression. Just 30 minutes of online game play day was enough to create dramatic boosts in mood long-term increases in happiness.
“I wish I’d had the to express my true self.” Well, avatars are a way express our true selves, our most heroic, idealized version who we might become. You can see that in this alter portrait by Robbie Cooper of a gamer with his avatar. And Stanford University has been doing research for years now to document how playing a game with an idealized changes how we think and act in real life, making us more courageous, more ambitious, more committed to goals.
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams, and not others expected of me.” Are games doing this yet? I’m not sure, so I’ve left a Mario question mark. We’re going to come back to this one.
But the meantime, perhaps you’re wondering, who is this game designer to be talking to about deathbed regrets? And it’s true, I’ve never worked in a hospice, I’ve been on my deathbed. But recently I did spend three months in bed, wanting die. Really wanting to die.
Now let me tell that story. It started two years ago, when I my head and got a concussion. The concussion didn’t heal properly, after 30 days, I was left with symptoms like nonstop headaches, nausea, vertigo, memory loss, mental fog. doctor told me that in order to heal my brain, I had rest it. So I had to avoid everything that my symptoms. For me that meant no reading, no writing, no games, no work or email, no running, no alcohol, no caffeine. In other — and I think you see where this is — no reason to live.
(Laughter)
Of course it’s to be funny, but in all seriousness, suicidal ideation quite common with traumatic brain injuries. It happens to one in three, and it happened me. My brain started telling me, “Jane, you want to die.” said, “You’re never going to get better.” It said, “The will never end.”
And these voices became so persistent and so persuasive that I started legitimately fear for my life, which is the time that I said to after 34 days — and I will never forget moment — I said, “I am either going to kill or I’m going to turn this into a game.”
Now, a game? I knew from researching the psychology of for more than a decade that when we play game — and this is in the scientific literature — we tough challenges with more creativity, more determination, more optimism, we’re more likely to reach out to others for help. I wanted bring these gamer traits to my real-life challenge, so created a role-playing recovery game called Jane the Concussion Slayer.
Now this my new secret identity, and the first thing I did a slayer was call my twin sister — I have an identical twin sister named Kelly — tell her, “I’m playing a game to heal my brain, I want you to play with me.” This was an easier way ask for help.
She became my first ally in the game, my husband Kiyash joined next, together we identified and battled the bad guys. Now this was anything that could trigger my and therefore slow down the healing process, things like lights and crowded spaces. We also collected and activated power-ups. This was anything could do on even my worst day to feel just little bit good, just a little bit productive. Things like cuddling dog for 10 minutes, or getting out of bed and walking around the block once.
Now the game was that simple: Adopt a secret identity, recruit your allies, battle bad guys, activate the power-ups. But even with a game simple, within just a couple days of starting to play, that fog of and anxiety went away. It just vanished. It felt a miracle. Now it wasn’t a miracle cure for the headaches or cognitive symptoms. That lasted for more than a year, and it the hardest year of my life by far. But even when I still had symptoms, even while I was still in pain, I stopped suffering.
Now what happened next with game surprised me. I put up some blog posts and videos online, explaining to play. But not everybody has a concussion, obviously, everyone wants to be “the slayer,” so I renamed the game SuperBetter.
And soon, I started from people all over the world who were adopting their own identity, recruiting their own allies, and they were getting “super better,” facing challenges like and chronic pain, depression and Crohn’s disease. Even people were playing it for diagnoses like ALS. And I could tell from their messages and their that the game was helping them in the same ways that it helped me. talked about feeling stronger and braver. They talked about feeling better understood their friends and family. And they even talked about happier, even though they were in pain, even though were tackling the toughest challenge of their lives.
Now at the time, I’m thinking myself, what is going on here? I mean, how could game so trivial intervene so powerfully in such serious, and in cases life-and-death, circumstances? I mean, if it hadn’t worked for me, there’s way I would have believed it was possible. Well, it out there’s some science here, too. Some people get and happier after a traumatic event. And that’s what was to us.
The game was helping us experience what scientists post-traumatic growth, which is not something we usually hear about. We usually hear about post-traumatic stress disorder. But now know that a traumatic event doesn’t doom us to indefinitely. Instead, we can use it as a springboard unleash our best qualities and lead happier lives.
Here are the top things that people with post-traumatic growth say: “My priorities changed.” “I’m not afraid to do what makes me happy.” “I closer to my friends and family.” “I understand myself better. I who I really am now.” “I have a new sense of meaning and in my life.” “I’m better able to focus on my and dreams.”
Now, does this sound familiar? It should, because the top traits of post-traumatic growth are essentially the direct opposite of top five regrets of the dying. Now this is interesting, right? It that somehow, a traumatic event can unlock our ability to lead a life fewer regrets.
But how does it work? How do get from trauma to growth? Or better yet, is a way to get all the benefits of post-traumatic growth without the trauma, having to hit your head in the first place? That would good, right?
I wanted to understand the phenomenon better, so I devoured the literature, and here’s what I learned. There are four kinds of strength, or resilience, contribute to post-traumatic growth, and there are scientifically validated activities you can do every day to build up these four of resilience, and you don’t need a trauma to do it.
I could you what these four types of strength are, but I’d rather experience them firsthand. I’d rather we all start building up together right now. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll play a quick together. This is where you earn the seven and a half minutes of life that I promised you earlier. All you have to do is successfully complete the first four quests. And I feel like you can do it. have confidence in you.
So, everybody ready? This is first quest. Here we go. Pick one: Stand up and three steps, or make your hands into fists, raise them over head as high as you can for five seconds, go! All right, I like the people doing both. You overachievers. Very good.
(Laughter)
Well done, everyone. That is worth +1 resilience, which means that your body can withstand more stress heal itself faster. We know from the research that the one thing you can do to boost your physical resilience is not sit still. That’s all it takes. Every single second that you not sitting still, you are actively improving the health of heart, and your lungs and brains.
Everybody ready for your next quest? I want to snap your fingers exactly 50 times, or count backwards 100 by seven, like this: 100, 93… Go!
(Snapping)
Don’t give up.
(Snapping)
Don’t let the counting down from 100 interfere with your counting to 50.
(Snapping)
(Laughter)
Nice. Wow. That’s the first time I’ve seen that. Bonus physical resilience. Well done, everyone. Now that’s worth +1 resilience, which means you have more mental focus, more discipline, determination and willpower. know from the scientific research that willpower actually works a muscle. It gets stronger the more you exercise it. tackling a tiny challenge without giving up, even one absurd as snapping your fingers exactly 50 times or backwards from 100 by seven is actually a scientifically validated way to boost willpower.
So good job. Quest number three. Pick one: Because of the room, fate’s really determined for you, but here are the two options. If you’re inside, find a window and look of it. If you’re outside, find a window and look in. Or do a quick YouTube or Google search for “baby [your favorite animal.]”
Do it on your phones, or just out some baby animals, and I’ll put them on the screen. So, what do want to see? Sloth, giraffe, elephant, snake. Okay, let’s see what we got. dolphin and baby llamas. Everybody look. Got that? Okay, one more. Baby elephant.
(Audience) Oh!
We’re for that? That’s amazing.
(Laughter)
All right, what we’re feeling there is plus-one emotional resilience, which means you the ability to provoke powerful, positive emotions like curiosity love, which we feel looking at baby animals, when you them most.
Here’s a secret from the scientific literature you. If you can manage to experience three positive for every one negative emotion over the course of an hour, day, a week, you dramatically improve your health and your to successfully tackle any problem you’re facing. And this is called the three-to-one positive ratio. It’s my favorite SuperBetter trick, so keep it up.
All right, one, last quest: Shake someone’s hand for six seconds, or send someone a quick you by text, email, Facebook or Twitter. Go!
(Chatting)
Looking good, looking good. Nice, nice. Keep up. I love it! All right, everybody, that is +1 resilience, which means you actually get more strength from your friends, your neighbors, your family, community. Now, a great way to boost social resilience gratitude. Touch is even better.
Here’s one more secret you: Shaking someone’s hand for six seconds dramatically raises level of oxytocin in your bloodstream, now that’s the trust hormone. That means that all of you who shook hands are biochemically primed to like and want help each other. This will linger during the break, so take advantage of networking opportunities.
(Laughter)
Well, you have successfully completed your quests, let’s see if I’ve successfully completed my mission give you seven and a half minutes of bonus life. Now I get share one more little bit of science with you. turns out that people who regularly boost these four types of resilience — physical, mental, and social — live 10 years longer than everyone else. So this is true. you are regularly achieving the three-to-one positive emotion ratio, if you never sitting still for more than an hour at a time, if you reaching out to one person you care about every single day, if you are tackling goals to boost your willpower, you will live 10 years longer than everyone else, and here’s where math I showed you earlier comes in.
So, the average life in the U.S. and the U.K. is 78.1 years, but we from more than 1,000 peer-reviewed scientific studies that you add 10 years of life by boosting your four types resilience. So every single year that you are boosting four types of resilience, you’re actually earning .128 more years of life or 46 days of life, or 67,298 more minutes of life, which means every day, you are earning 184 minutes of life, or every single hour that you are boosting your four of resilience, like we just did together, you are 7.68245837 more minutes of life.
Congratulations, those seven and half minutes are all yours. You totally earned them.
Yeah!
(Applause)
Awesome. Wait, wait, wait. You have your special mission, your secret mission. How are you going spend these minutes of bonus life?
Well, here’s my suggestion. These and a half bonus minutes are kind of like genie’s wishes. You can use your first wish to wish for million more wishes. Pretty clever, right? So, if you spend these and a half minutes today doing something that makes you happy, or that gets physically active, or puts you in touch with someone you care about, or even just tackling a challenge, you’re going to boost your resilience, so you’re going to earn more minutes.
And the good is, you can keep going like that. Every hour of the day, every day of life, all the way to your deathbed, which will now be 10 later than it would have otherwise. And when you there, more than likely, you will not have any those top five regrets, because you will have built up the strength and to lead a life truer to your dreams. And with 10 extra years, you might even have enough to play a few more games.
Thank you.
(Applause)