I’m a gamer, I like to have goals. I like special missions and objectives. So here’s my special mission for this talk: I’m going try to increase the life span of every single in this room by seven and a half minutes. Literally, you live seven and a half minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you this talk.
Some of you are looking a little bit skeptical. That’s okay, check it out — I have math to prove that it is possible. It won’t make sense now. I’ll explain it all later, just pay attention the number at the bottom: +7.68245837 minutes. That will be my gift to if I’m successful in my mission.
Now, you have secret mission too. Your mission is to figure out how you want to your extra seven and a half minutes. And I you should do something unusual with them, because these are bonus minutes. You weren’t going to have anyway.
Now, because I’m a game designer, you might be thinking to yourself, know what she wants us to do with those minutes, wants us to spend them playing games. Now this a totally reasonable assumption, given that I have made quite a habit of people to spend more time playing games. For example, in my first TED Talk, I did propose that should spend 21 billion hours a week, as a planet, playing video games.
Now, 21 billion hours, it’s a of time. It’s so much time, in fact, that the number one unsolicited comment that I have from people all over the world since I gave talk, is this: Jane, games are great and all, on your deathbed, are you really going to wish you more time playing Angry Birds?
(Laughter)
This idea is pervasive — that games are a waste of time that we will to regret — that I hear it literally everywhere I go. example, true story: Just a few weeks ago, this cab driver, upon finding out that a friend I were in town for a game developers’ conference, around and said — and I quote — “I games. Waste of life. Imagine getting to the end of your life regretting all that time.”
Now, I want to take this problem seriously. want games to be a force for good in world. I don’t want gamers to regret the time they spent playing, time that I encouraged them spend. So I have been thinking about this question lot lately. When we’re on our deathbeds, will we regret the time we playing games?
Now, this may surprise you, but it turns out there is actually scientific research on this question. It’s true. Hospice workers, people who take care of us at the end our lives, recently issued a report on the most frequently expressed regrets that say when they are literally on their deathbeds. And that’s what want to share with you today — the top regrets of the dying.
Number one: I wish I hadn’t so hard. Number two: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Number three: I I had let myself be happier. Number four: I I’d had the courage to express my true self. number five: I wish I’d lived a life true to dreams, instead of what others expected of me.
Now, as far as know, no one ever told one of the hospice workers, “I I’d spent more time playing video games,” but when I hear these top five of the dying, I can’t help but hear five deep human that games actually help us fulfill.
For example, I wish hadn’t worked so hard. For many people, this means, I wish I’d spent more time with my family, my kids when they were growing up. Well, we know that playing games together has tremendous benefits. A recent study from Brigham Young University School Family Life reported that parents who spend more time video games with their kids have much stronger real-life with them.
“I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.” Hundreds of millions people use social games like FarmVille or Words With Friends stay in daily contact with real-life friends and family. A recent from the University of Michigan showed that these games are powerful relationship-management tools. They help us stay connected with people in social network that we would otherwise grow distant from, if we weren’t playing together.
“I wish I’d let myself be happier.” Well, I can’t help but think of the groundbreaking clinical trials recently at East Carolina University that showed that online games can outperform pharmaceuticals for clinical anxiety and depression. Just 30 minutes of online play a day was enough to create dramatic boosts mood and long-term increases in happiness.
“I wish I’d had the courage to express true self.” Well, avatars are a way to express our true selves, most heroic, idealized version of who we might become. You see that in this alter ego portrait by Robbie Cooper of a gamer with his avatar. Stanford University has been doing research for five years now to document how playing a game with idealized avatar changes how we think and act in real life, making more courageous, more ambitious, more committed to our goals.
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams, not what others expected of me.” Are games doing yet? I’m not sure, so I’ve left a Super question mark. We’re going to come back to this one.
But in the meantime, you’re wondering, who is this game designer to be talking to us about deathbed regrets? it’s true, I’ve never worked in a hospice, I’ve never been on my deathbed. But recently I did three months in bed, wanting to die. Really wanting to die.
Now let me tell you that story. started two years ago, when I hit my head got a concussion. The concussion didn’t heal properly, and 30 days, I was left with symptoms like nonstop headaches, nausea, vertigo, memory loss, mental fog. My doctor told me in order to heal my brain, I had to rest it. So had to avoid everything that triggered my symptoms. For me that no reading, no writing, no video games, no work or email, no running, no alcohol, no caffeine. other words — and I think you see where is going — no reason to live.
(Laughter)
Of course it’s meant to funny, but in all seriousness, suicidal ideation is quite with traumatic brain injuries. It happens to one in three, it happened to me. My brain started telling me, “Jane, you want die.” It said, “You’re never going to get better.” It said, “The pain never end.”
And these voices became so persistent and so persuasive that started to legitimately fear for my life, which is the time that said to myself after 34 days — and I never forget this moment — I said, “I am either going kill myself or I’m going to turn this into game.”
Now, why a game? I knew from researching the psychology of for more than a decade that when we play a game — this is in the scientific literature — we tackle tough challenges more creativity, more determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely to reach to others for help. I wanted to bring these gamer traits to real-life challenge, so I created a role-playing recovery game called Jane Concussion Slayer.
Now this became my new secret identity, and the first I did as a slayer was call my twin sister — have an identical twin sister named Kelly — and her, “I’m playing a game to heal my brain, I want you to play with me.” This was easier way to ask for help.
She became my ally in the game, my husband Kiyash joined next, and together we identified and the bad guys. Now this was anything that could trigger my symptoms and slow down the healing process, things like bright lights and spaces. We also collected and activated power-ups. This was anything I could on even my worst day to feel just a little bit good, just a little productive. Things like cuddling my dog for 10 minutes, or out of bed and walking around the block just once.
Now the game was that simple: Adopt a secret identity, your allies, battle the bad guys, activate the power-ups. But with a game so simple, within just a couple days of starting to play, that fog of and anxiety went away. It just vanished. It felt a miracle. Now it wasn’t a miracle cure for headaches or the cognitive symptoms. That lasted for more than year, and it was the hardest year of my life far. But even when I still had the symptoms, even while I was still pain, I stopped suffering.
Now what happened next with game surprised me. I put up some blog posts and online, explaining how to play. But not everybody has concussion, obviously, not everyone wants to be “the slayer,” so renamed the game SuperBetter.
And soon, I started hearing people all over the world who were adopting their own identity, recruiting their own allies, and they were getting “super better,” facing like cancer and chronic pain, depression and Crohn’s disease. people were playing it for terminal diagnoses like ALS. And I could tell from their messages their videos that the game was helping them in same ways that it helped me. They talked about stronger and braver. They talked about feeling better understood their friends and family. And they even talked about happier, even though they were in pain, even though they were the toughest challenge of their lives.
Now at the time, I’m thinking to myself, is going on here? I mean, how could a so trivial intervene so powerfully in such serious, and in cases life-and-death, circumstances? I mean, if it hadn’t worked me, there’s no way I would have believed it was possible. Well, it out there’s some science here, too. Some people get stronger and happier after a traumatic event. And that’s was happening to us.
The game was helping us what scientists call post-traumatic growth, which is not something usually hear about. We usually hear about post-traumatic stress disorder. But scientists now know that a traumatic doesn’t doom us to suffer indefinitely. Instead, we can it as a springboard to unleash our best qualities and lead lives.
Here are the top five things that people with post-traumatic growth say: “My priorities have changed.” “I’m afraid to do what makes me happy.” “I feel closer to friends and family.” “I understand myself better. I know I really am now.” “I have a new sense of meaning purpose in my life.” “I’m better able to focus on goals and dreams.”
Now, does this sound familiar? It should, because the top five traits of post-traumatic are essentially the direct opposite of the top five regrets the dying. Now this is interesting, right? It seems that somehow, traumatic event can unlock our ability to lead a life fewer regrets.
But how does it work? How do you get from trauma to growth? Or yet, is there a way to get all the benefits post-traumatic growth without the trauma, without having to hit your head the first place? That would be good, right?
I wanted understand the phenomenon better, so I devoured the scientific literature, here’s what I learned. There are four kinds of strength, or resilience, that contribute to post-traumatic growth, and there scientifically validated activities that you can do every day to build up four kinds of resilience, and you don’t need a trauma do it.
I could tell you what these four types strength are, but I’d rather you experience them firsthand. I’d we all start building them up together right now. Here’s what we’re going do. We’ll play a quick game together. This is where you the seven and a half minutes of bonus life that I promised you earlier. All have to do is successfully complete the first four quests. And I feel like you can do it. have confidence in you.
So, everybody ready? This is your first quest. Here go. Pick one: Stand up and take three steps, or make your hands fists, raise them over your head as high as you for five seconds, go! All right, I like the doing both. You are overachievers. Very good.
(Laughter)
Well done, everyone. That is worth +1 physical resilience, which that your body can withstand more stress and heal faster. We know from the research that the number thing you can do to boost your physical resilience is to not still. That’s all it takes. Every single second that you are not sitting still, are actively improving the health of your heart, and lungs and brains.
Everybody ready for your next quest? I you to snap your fingers exactly 50 times, or backwards from 100 by seven, like this: 100, 93… Go!
(Snapping)
Don’t give up.
(Snapping)
Don’t let the people counting from 100 interfere with your counting to 50.
(Snapping)
(Laughter)
Nice. Wow. That’s the time I’ve ever seen that. Bonus physical resilience. Well done, everyone. that’s worth +1 mental resilience, which means you have more mental focus, discipline, determination and willpower. We know from the scientific research willpower actually works like a muscle. It gets stronger the more you it. So tackling a tiny challenge without giving up, even as absurd as snapping your fingers exactly 50 times or backwards from 100 by seven is actually a scientifically way to boost your willpower.
So good job. Quest three. Pick one: Because of the room, fate’s really determined for you, but here are the two options. If you’re inside, find a and look out of it. If you’re outside, find a window and look in. Or a quick YouTube or Google image search for “baby [your animal.]”
Do it on your phones, or just shout out some animals, and I’ll put them on the screen. So, what do we to see? Sloth, giraffe, elephant, snake. Okay, let’s see what we got. Baby dolphin and baby llamas. look. Got that? Okay, one more. Baby elephant.
(Audience) Oh!
We’re for that? That’s amazing.
(Laughter)
All right, what we’re just feeling there is plus-one emotional resilience, which means have the ability to provoke powerful, positive emotions like curiosity love, which we feel looking at baby animals, when you them most.
Here’s a secret from the scientific literature you. If you can manage to experience three positive emotions every one negative emotion over the course of an hour, day, a week, you dramatically improve your health and ability to successfully tackle any problem you’re facing. And this called the three-to-one positive emotion ratio. It’s my favorite trick, so keep it up.
All right, pick one, last quest: someone’s hand for six seconds, or send someone a quick thank you by text, email, Facebook Twitter. Go!
(Chatting)
Looking good, looking good. Nice, nice. Keep it up. I it! All right, everybody, that is +1 social resilience, means you actually get more strength from your friends, neighbors, your family, your community. Now, a great way to boost social resilience is gratitude. is even better.
Here’s one more secret for you: Shaking someone’s hand for six seconds dramatically the level of oxytocin in your bloodstream, now that’s trust hormone. That means that all of you who just shook hands are biochemically primed like and want to help each other. This will linger during the break, so take advantage the networking opportunities.
(Laughter)
Well, you have successfully completed your four quests, let’s see if I’ve successfully completed mission to give you seven and a half minutes bonus life. Now I get to share one more little bit science with you. It turns out that people who boost these four types of resilience — physical, mental, emotional and — live 10 years longer than everyone else. So this is true. If you are achieving the three-to-one positive emotion ratio, if you are never still for more than an hour at a time, if you reaching out to one person you care about every single day, if you tackling tiny goals to boost your willpower, you will live 10 years longer than everyone else, and here’s that math I showed you earlier comes in.
So, the life expectancy in the U.S. and the U.K. is 78.1 years, but we know from more 1,000 peer-reviewed scientific studies that you can add 10 years of life boosting your four types of resilience. So every single that you are boosting your four types of resilience, you’re actually earning .128 more years life or 46 more days of life, or 67,298 more minutes life, which means every single day, you are earning 184 of life, or every single hour that you are boosting your types of resilience, like we just did together, you are 7.68245837 more minutes of life.
Congratulations, those seven and a half minutes are all yours. totally earned them.
Yeah!
(Applause)
Awesome. Wait, wait, wait. still have your special mission, your secret mission. How are you going to spend minutes of bonus life?
Well, here’s my suggestion. These seven a half bonus minutes are kind of like genie’s wishes. You use your first wish to wish for a million wishes. Pretty clever, right? So, if you spend these seven a half minutes today doing something that makes you happy, or that gets you physically active, or you in touch with someone you care about, or even just tackling a challenge, you’re going to boost your resilience, so you’re to earn more minutes.
And the good news is, can keep going like that. Every hour of the day, every day of your life, all the way your deathbed, which will now be 10 years later than it would have otherwise. And when get there, more than likely, you will not have any of top five regrets, because you will have built up the strength and resilience lead a life truer to your dreams. And with 10 extra years, you might even have enough time play a few more games.
Thank you.
(Applause)