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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the State of California. his inaugural address, he talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the simple magic of the routine, which makes it a near miracle to many of the world’s inhabitants.” He went on to utter an iconic phrase that would be by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom is a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I used that quote many times, but I have a confession to make. I never really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, no longer have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased to report that I actually believe now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during one of commonplace routines of transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of the State of Utah. It was my duty to certify the votes of the electors for the presidential election. While the to do so was open to the public, it so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. As I into the room, I was stunned to see dozens of angry protesters screaming the election had been stolen and demanding that we violate law and change the votes of the electors.

Now I know you’re all thinking, and you’re probably wrong. This was 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters were Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. With the election less than two months away, a friend and I were and lamenting about the state of our our country following a summer of destructive protests by the left and an extreme right that was already undermining the of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t there something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, so I picked up the and called my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at same time that Trump and Biden were battling for the presidency. I called my opponent, Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom I respected, and I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. What if we filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear confused look forming on his face. To his credit, he agreed, and one week later, we were in studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the final days of campaigning against each to be your next governor.

SC: And while I you should vote for me —

CP: Yeah, but really, should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both agree on.

CP: We can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We disagree without hating each other.

CP: And win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show the country there’s a better way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous and overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither us saw it coming. There were media requests from all over world, millions of views and shares. Perhaps there really is exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe this is message they want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the American idea start rekindle. The popularity of the ad validated my hope most people really do want their political leaders to uphold the values that we teach our kids. That can disagree without hate and contempt, even that we can ways to treat each other with respect even when we disagree. seemed like there was a hunger for architects instead of arsonists.

My hunch was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted version of our ad to the Stanford Polarization and Social Change Lab as part of a huge depolarization experiment. It chosen as one of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually had a depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out there really are things that we do to alter the trajectory of the United States.

Now look, I it. It’s easy to feel a little hopeless as Americans once again towards an election with unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the past six months, 20 governors all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them with a public servant from the opposing party. And the continues to show that people really are hungry for something different. According polling from More in Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the divisiveness in politics. And it also turns out that … Americans aren’t as far as we think we are. The problem isn’t how far apart the average Republican and the average Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re much different than other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think we are. Due in large part to conflict entrepreneurs in both the media and politics, both sides overestimate the extremism on the other side by 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is actually strongest amongst progressive activists on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on the right. So the people most engaged in the political process have the most inaccurate views of the other side.

But perhaps the best news of all is that are very practical things that every one of us can do every day to help heal the divides our nations and our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off and tuning out some those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife and I, we stopped watching cable news 11 years ago and saw an improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have found that more time spent the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is really bad our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, like media saturation overload or doomscrolling or headline anxiety. You see, news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, real people who are different than us. In the words Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. You see, it’s just harder to up close. “Tell me more about why you feel that way” a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each other by our political identities first. for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. How about you? You see, we look beyond our political tribes, we can actually find shared identities and friendships that unite instead divide.

Now third, we can serve others. Service and help build up communities and improve our outlook on life and the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering even been associated with lower blood pressure. There is nothing for the soul or society than giving back. Aristotle really was on to something when described and summed up the essence of life as: “Serve others do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to develop the classical virtues of humility, patience and moderation, without which, as John explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, I it’s almost laughable to talk about words like humility in political discourse, but I truly believe it is the only way for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. In the words Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of is the spirit which is not too sure it is right. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand minds of other men and women.”

And I started with a from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom is not ours by way inheritance. It must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a and those in history who have known freedom and then lost it have never it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our solemn duty in our generation to once again secure freedoms endowed to all of us from on high. We cannot wait for politicians or the media to do it. will take real work, hard work by each of us. But we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We rise up and meet that radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, political opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an answer, but it is a simple one. If we really want change the world, we have to start by changing our hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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