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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Reagan became the governor of the State of California. In his inaugural address, talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a near miracle many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on to utter an iconic phrase would be repeated by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, have used that quote many times, but I have a to make. I never really believed it. Surely, after 250 years this stuff, we no longer have to worry about losing it. I’m pleased to report that I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during of those commonplace routines of transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of State of Utah. It was my duty to certify the votes the electors for the presidential election. While the meeting to do so open to the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no ever showed up. As I walked into the room, I was to see dozens of angry protesters screaming that the had been stolen and demanding that we violate state law and change the of the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re probably wrong. was not 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters were Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. With the less than two months away, a friend and I talking and lamenting about the state of our our country following a summer of destructive protests by the extreme left and an extreme right that was already undermining the validity of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, so I picked up the and called my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at the same time that Trump and Biden were battling for the presidency. called my opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom I respected, and I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. What if filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the confused look forming on his face. To his credit, he agreed, one week later, we were in a studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the days of campaigning against each other to be your next governor.

SC: And while I think you vote for me —

CP: Yeah, but really, you should vote me.

SC: There are some things we both agree on.

CP: We debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can disagree without hating each other.

CP: And win or lose, Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show the country that there’s a better way.

CP: My is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous and overwhelming. The went viral. Neither of us saw it coming. There were media requests from all over the world, millions of and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe this is the message they want hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the American idea start to rekindle. The popularity the ad validated my hope that most people really do want their political leaders to uphold the values that we teach our kids. That we can without hate and contempt, even that we can find ways treat each other with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like there was a hunger for architects instead of arsonists.

My hunch confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad to the Stanford Polarization and Change Lab as part of a huge depolarization experiment. was chosen as one of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually had a measurable effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out there really are things that we can do to the trajectory of the United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to feel a hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards an election with unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the six months, 20 governors from all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them with a public servant from the party. And the data continues to show that people really hungry for something different. According to polling from More in Common, 70 of Americans hate the divisiveness in politics. And it turns out that … Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are. problem isn’t how far apart the average Republican and the Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re not much different other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think we are. Due in large part to conflict entrepreneurs in both media and politics, both sides overestimate the extremism on the other by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is strongest amongst progressive activists on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on the right. So the most engaged in the political process also have the most inaccurate views of the other side.

But the best news of all is that there are very practical things that every one of us can do every day to help heal the divides in nations and our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off and tuning out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My and I, we stopped watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately saw an improvement in our marriage, family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have that more time spent on the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is really for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, like media saturation or doomscrolling or headline anxiety. You see, more news, all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just stressing us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, with real who are different than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. see, it’s just harder to hate up close. “Tell me more why you feel that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we identified each other by our political identities first. As for me, I’m a father. I’m NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist in a band. I’m Utahn. I’m an American. How about you? You see, if we look beyond our political tribes, we can find shared identities and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we can serve others. Service and volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook life and the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering have even been associated with lower blood pressure. There is better for the soul or society than giving back. Aristotle really was on to something when he described and summed the essence of life as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to develop the classical virtues of humility, patience and moderation, without which, as Adams explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, I know it’s almost to talk about words like humility in political discourse, but I believe that it is the only way for us to remember how disagree without hate and contempt. In the words of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure it is right. The spirit of liberty is spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other and women.”

And I started with a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom not ours by way of inheritance. It must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for comes only once to a people and those in history who have known freedom then lost it have never known it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is solemn duty in our generation to once again secure the freedoms endowed to all of us from high. We cannot wait for politicians or the media do it. It will take real work, hard work by each of us. But we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We must rise up and meet that radical call to love our — even, especially, our political opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an easy answer, but it is simple one. If we really want to change the world, we have to by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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