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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the State of California. In his inaugural address, he talked the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the simple magic of the commonplace routine, which makes a near miracle to many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then on to utter an iconic phrase that would be repeated by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Now countless others, I have used that quote many times, but I have a to make. I never really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, we no longer have to about losing it. I’m not pleased to report that I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my confidence came one of those commonplace routines of transferring power as Lieutenant of the State of Utah. It was my duty to certify the votes of electors for the presidential election. While the meeting to do so open to the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. As I walked into the room, I was stunned to see dozens of angry protesters that the election had been stolen and demanding that we violate state law change the votes of the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re probably wrong. This was not 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters were Hillary supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. the election less than two months away, a friend and I were talking and lamenting about the state of our country following a summer of destructive protests by the extreme left and an extreme right that already undermining the validity of an election that hadn’t even yet. “Isn’t there something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted all weekend, so I picked up the phone and my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at same time that Trump and Biden were battling for the presidency. called my opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom I respected, I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. What if we filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the look forming on his face. To his credit, he agreed, and one week later, we were in studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: are currently in the final days of campaigning against each to be your next governor.

SC: And while I think you should vote for —

CP: Yeah, but really, you should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both agree on.

CP: We can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We disagree without hating each other.

CP: And win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show country that there’s a better way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous and overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither of us it coming. There were media requests from all over the world, millions views and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe this is the they want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in American idea start to rekindle. The popularity of the ad my hope that most people really do want their leaders to uphold the values that we teach our kids. That we can disagree without hate and contempt, even we can find ways to treat each other with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like there was a for architects instead of arsonists.

My hunch was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad to the Stanford and Social Change Lab as part of a huge depolarization experiment. It chosen as one of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually had a measurable depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out really are things that we can do to alter the trajectory of United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to feel a little hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards an election unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the past six months, 20 governors from all across the country have similar ads, most of them with a public servant from the opposing party. And the data continues to show that people really hungry for something different. According to polling from More in Common, 70 percent of Americans hate divisiveness in politics. And it also turns out that … Americans aren’t as far apart we think we are. The problem isn’t how far apart the average Republican and the average Democrat is on the issues. In fact, we’re not much different than other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think are. Due in large part to conflict entrepreneurs in both media and politics, both sides overestimate the extremism on other side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is actually strongest amongst progressive on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on the right. the people most engaged in the political process also have the most inaccurate views the other side.

But perhaps the best news of all is there are very practical things that every one of us can do every day to help heal the divides in our nations and our neighborhoods. First, we start by turning off and tuning out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My and I, we stopped watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately saw an improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies found that more time spent on the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is bad for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, like media saturation overload or or headline anxiety. You see, more news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just stressing us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, with real people are different than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will you. You see, it’s just harder to hate up close. “Tell me more about why you that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each by our political identities first. As for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist in band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. How about you? You see, if we look beyond our political tribes, we can actually find shared and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we can serve others. and volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook on life and the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering have even been with lower blood pressure. There is nothing better for the soul or society than giving back. Aristotle really on to something when he described and summed up the essence of as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we work to develop the classical political virtues of humility, patience and moderation, which, as John Adams explained, we all become ravenous beasts prey. Now look, I know it’s almost laughable to about words like humility in political discourse, but I believe that it is the only way for us to how to disagree without hate and contempt. In the words of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit liberty is the spirit which is not too sure it is right. The spirit liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other men and women.”

And I started a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom is not by way of inheritance. It must be fought for and defended by each generation, for it comes only once to a people and those in history who have known freedom and then lost it have never it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our solemn in our generation to once again secure the freedoms endowed to all us from on high. We cannot wait for politicians or the media to do it. It will real work, hard work by each of us. But we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We must rise up and meet radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, our political opponents. It’s … It’s not … It’s not an easy answer, but it is a one. If we really want to change the world, have to start by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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