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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the State of California. In his inaugural address, he talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described “the simple magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a miracle to many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on utter an iconic phrase that would be repeated by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I have used that quote many times, but I have a confession to make. I never really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, no longer have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased to report that I actually believe now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during one of those commonplace routines transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of the State of Utah. It was my to certify the votes of the electors for the presidential election. While meeting to do so was open to the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. As I walked into the room, I was stunned to dozens of angry protesters screaming that the election had been and demanding that we violate state law and change votes of the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re wrong. This was not 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. With the election less than two months away, a friend and I were talking and about the state of our our country following a summer of protests by the extreme left and an extreme right that was already undermining the validity of an election that hadn’t even yet. “Isn’t there something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that haunted me all weekend, so I picked up the phone and called my opponent. By the way, I was for governor at the same time that Trump and Biden battling for the presidency. I called my opponent, a Democrat named Peterson, whom I respected, and I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. What if we filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the confused forming on his face. To his credit, he agreed, and one week later, we were in a together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the final days campaigning against each other to be your next governor.

SC: while I think you should vote for me —

CP: Yeah, but really, should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both on.

CP: We can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can disagree without hating each other.

CP: And win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s the country that there’s a better way.

CP: My name is Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither of us saw it coming. There were requests from all over the world, millions of views and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe this is message they want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the American idea start to rekindle. The popularity of the validated my hope that most people really do want political leaders to uphold the values that we teach kids. That we can disagree without hate and contempt, even that we can find ways to treat each other with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like there was a hunger for architects of arsonists.

My hunch was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad to the Stanford Polarization and Social Change Lab part of a huge depolarization experiment. It was chosen as of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually a measurable depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It out there really are things that we can do to alter trajectory of the United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to a little hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards an election with unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. the past six months, 20 governors from all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them a public servant from the opposing party. And the data continues show that people really are hungry for something different. According to polling from More Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the divisiveness in politics. And it also turns that … Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are. The problem isn’t far apart the average Republican and the average Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re not different than other Western democracies. The problem is how apart we think we are. Due in large part to conflict entrepreneurs both the media and politics, both sides overestimate the on the other side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this gap is actually strongest amongst progressive activists on the left and extreme conservatives on the right. So the people most engaged in the political also have the most inaccurate views of the other side.

But perhaps best news of all is that there are very practical things every one of us can do every day to help heal the divides in our nations and our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off and tuning out of those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife and I, we stopped watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately saw an improvement our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re alone. Studies have found that more time spent on the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional outlets, is really bad for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, like media saturation overload or doomscrolling or headline anxiety. You see, more news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s stressing us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, with real people who are than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. You see, it’s just harder to hate up close. “Tell me more about you feel that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified other by our political identities first. As for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m terrible aspiring bassist in a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. How about you? You see, if look beyond our political tribes, we can actually find shared and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we can serve others. Service and volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook on life the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering even been associated with lower blood pressure. There is nothing better for the soul or society than back. Aristotle really was on to something when he described and summed the essence of life as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to the classical political virtues of humility, patience and moderation, without which, as John explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, know it’s almost laughable to talk about words like humility in political discourse, but I truly that it is the only way for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. the words of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit liberty is the spirit which is not too sure it is right. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other men women.”

And I started with a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on say that freedom is not ours by way of inheritance. must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for comes only once to a people and those in history have known freedom and then lost it have never known it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our solemn duty in our generation to once secure the freedoms endowed to all of us from on high. We wait for politicians or the media to do it. It take real work, hard work by each of us. But we must remember how disagree without hate.

We must rise up and meet that radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, our opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an easy answer, but it is a simple one. If we really want to the world, we have to start by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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