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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the of California. In his inaugural address, he talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the simple magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a near miracle to many the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on to utter an iconic phrase that would be by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom is a fragile thing,” said, “And it’s never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I have used quote many times, but I have a confession to make. I really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, we no have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased report that I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my came during one of those commonplace routines of transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of the State of Utah. It was my duty to certify the of the electors for the presidential election. While the meeting to do so was open to the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no one showed up. As I walked into the room, I stunned to see dozens of angry protesters screaming that the election had been stolen and demanding that we violate state law change the votes of the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, you’re probably wrong. This was not 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters were Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it far worse somehow, four years later. With the election less two months away, a friend and I were talking lamenting about the state of our our country following a summer of destructive by the extreme left and an extreme right that was already the validity of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t there something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, I picked up the phone and called my opponent. By the way, I was running for at the same time that Trump and Biden were battling for presidency. I called my opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, I respected, and I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. What if we a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the confused look forming his face. To his credit, he agreed, and one later, we were in a studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the final of campaigning against each other to be your next governor.

SC: And while I think you should vote for me —

CP: Yeah, really, you should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both on.

CP: We can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can without hating each other.

CP: And win or lose, Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show the country that there’s better way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither of us saw it coming. There were media requests from all over the world, millions views and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember to myself, and maybe this is the message they to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the American idea start rekindle. The popularity of the ad validated my hope that most people really do want their political leaders to the values that we teach our kids. That we can disagree without hate and contempt, even that we can find ways to treat each other with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like was a hunger for architects instead of arsonists.

My hunch was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad the Stanford Polarization and Social Change Lab as part of a huge depolarization experiment. It was chosen as of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually had a measurable depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out there really things that we can do to alter the trajectory of United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to feel a little hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards election with unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the six months, 20 governors from all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them a public servant from the opposing party. And the data continues to show that people really are hungry for something different. to polling from More in Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the in politics. And it also turns out that … Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are. The problem isn’t how far apart the average Republican and the Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re not much different than other Western democracies. problem is how far apart we think we are. Due in large to conflict entrepreneurs in both the media and politics, both sides overestimate the extremism on the side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is actually strongest amongst progressive activists on the left and amongst extreme on the right. So the people most engaged in the political process also have most inaccurate views of the other side.

But perhaps the news of all is that there are very practical things that every one of us do every day to help heal the divides in our nations our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off and tuning out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife and I, we stopped watching cable news 11 ago and immediately saw an improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have found that more time spent on the headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is bad for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this in different ways, like media saturation overload or doomscrolling headline anxiety. You see, more news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, real people who are different than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. see, it’s just harder to hate up close. “Tell me more about why you feel that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each other by our political identities first. As me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist in a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. about you? You see, if we look beyond our political tribes, we can actually find shared identities and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we can serve others. Service volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook on life the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering have even been associated with lower pressure. There is nothing better for the soul or society than giving back. really was on to something when he described and summed up the of life as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to develop the classical political virtues of humility, patience and moderation, without which, John Adams explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, I know it’s almost laughable to about words like humility in political discourse, but I truly believe that is the only way for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. In the of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of liberty is the which is not too sure it is right. The spirit of is the spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other and women.”

And I started with a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom is not ours by way of inheritance. It must be fought for and defended by each generation, for it comes only once to a people those in history who have known freedom and then lost it have never known it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it our solemn duty in our generation to once again secure the freedoms endowed all of us from on high. We cannot wait politicians or the media to do it. It will take real work, hard work by each of us. we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We must up and meet that radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, our political opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an easy answer, but it is a simple one. If we really to change the world, we have to start by changing own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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