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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the State of California. In his address, he talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the simple magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a near to many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on to utter an iconic phrase that would be by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom is a thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I used that quote many times, but I have a confession to make. I really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, no longer have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased to report that I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during one of those commonplace routines transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of the State of Utah. It was duty to certify the votes of the electors for the presidential election. While the to do so was open to the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. I walked into the room, I was stunned to see dozens of angry screaming that the election had been stolen and demanding that we violate state law and change the votes of the electors.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and you’re probably wrong. This was not 2020. was 2016, and the protesters were Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. the election less than two months away, a friend and I were talking and lamenting about the of our our country following a summer of destructive protests by the extreme left and an extreme right that was already undermining the validity of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t there something you do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, so I picked up the and called my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at the same time that Trump and Biden were battling for the presidency. I called opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom I respected, I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. if we filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the confused look on his face. To his credit, he agreed, and one week later, we were in a studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the final of campaigning against each other to be your next governor.

SC: And while I think should vote for me —

CP: Yeah, but really, you should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both agree on.

CP: can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can disagree without hating each other.

CP: win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show country that there’s a better way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was instantaneous and overwhelming. ad went viral. Neither of us saw it coming. There were media requests from all over the world, millions of views and shares. there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe is the message they want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in American idea start to rekindle. The popularity of the ad validated my hope that most people really do want their political leaders to uphold values that we teach our kids. That we can disagree without hate and contempt, even that we can ways to treat each other with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like there was hunger for architects instead of arsonists.

My hunch was one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our to the Stanford Polarization and Social Change Lab as part of a depolarization experiment. It was chosen as one of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? ad actually had a measurable depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out there really are things that we can to alter the trajectory of the United States.

Now look, get it. It’s easy to feel a little hopeless as Americans once again towards an election with unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the six months, 20 governors from all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them with a public servant from opposing party. And the data continues to show that people really hungry for something different. According to polling from More Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the divisiveness in politics. And it also turns out that … aren’t as far apart as we think we are. The problem isn’t how far apart the average Republican and the average is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re not much different other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think we are. in large part to conflict entrepreneurs in both the media and politics, both sides overestimate extremism on the other side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is actually strongest amongst activists on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on the right. So the people most engaged in the political process also have the inaccurate views of the other side.

But perhaps the best news of is that there are very practical things that every one of us can do every day help heal the divides in our nations and our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off tuning out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife and I, we watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately saw improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have that more time spent on the latest headlines, whether through social media traditional media outlets, is really bad for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, media saturation overload or doomscrolling or headline anxiety. You see, more news, all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just stressing us out.

Second, can spend more time, preferably offline, with real people are different than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. You see, it’s just harder to hate close. “Tell me more about why you feel that way” is magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each other our political identities first. As for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist in a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. about you? You see, if we look beyond our political tribes, we can actually find shared and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we serve others. Service and volunteering help build up communities and our outlook on life and the people around us. Some forms of regular volunteering have even been with lower blood pressure. There is nothing better for soul or society than giving back. Aristotle really was on to something when he described and summed up the essence of as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to the classical political virtues of humility, patience and moderation, without which, as John Adams explained, we all become beasts of prey. Now look, I know it’s almost laughable to talk about words humility in political discourse, but I truly believe that it is the only way for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. In the of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure it right. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which to understand the minds of other men and women.”

And I with a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that is not ours by way of inheritance. It must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people and those in history have known freedom and then lost it have never it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our solemn duty in our generation to once again secure freedoms endowed to all of us from on high. We cannot wait for politicians or the media to do it. It take real work, hard work by each of us. we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We rise up and meet that radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, political opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an easy answer, but it is a simple one. If we really want to change world, we have to start by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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