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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the of the State of California. In his inaugural address, he about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the simple magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a near miracle many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on to an iconic phrase that would be repeated by politicians decades to come. “Freedom is a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than one generation from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I have used that quote many times, but have a confession to make. I never really believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, we longer have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased to report that I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during one of those commonplace routines of transferring as Lieutenant Governor of the State of Utah. It my duty to certify the votes of the electors for presidential election. While the meeting to do so was open to the public, was so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. As I walked into the room, was stunned to see dozens of angry protesters screaming that the had been stolen and demanding that we violate state law and change the votes the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re probably wrong. This was not 2020. This was 2016, and the protesters Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. With the election less than two months away, a friend and I were talking and lamenting about the state of our country following a summer of destructive protests by the extreme and an extreme right that was already undermining the of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, so I picked up the phone called my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at the same time that Trump and Biden were battling the presidency. I called my opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom respected, and I said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I a crazy idea. What if we filmed a campaign together?”

I could almost hear the confused look forming on his face. To his credit, he agreed, one week later, we were in a studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Chris Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently the final days of campaigning against each other to be your next governor.

SC: while I think you should vote for me —

CP: Yeah, really, you should vote for me.

SC: There are some things we both agree on.

CP: We can issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can disagree without each other.

CP: And win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s the country that there’s a better way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response was and overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither of us it coming. There were media requests from all over the world, of views and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe is the message they want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the American idea start rekindle. The popularity of the ad validated my hope that most people really do their political leaders to uphold the values that we teach our kids. That we can disagree without hate contempt, even that we can find ways to treat each other with respect even when disagree. It seemed like there was a hunger for architects instead of arsonists.

My was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad to the Stanford Polarization and Social Change as part of a huge depolarization experiment. It was chosen as one of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. result? Our ad actually had a measurable depolarization effect, including a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns there really are things that we can do to alter the trajectory the United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to feel a little hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards an election unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the past months, 20 governors from all across the country have similar ads, most of them with a public servant from the opposing party. And the data continues show that people really are hungry for something different. According to polling from More in Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the divisiveness politics. And it also turns out that … Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are. The problem isn’t how far apart the Republican and the average Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re much different than other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think we are. Due in part to conflict entrepreneurs in both the media and politics, both sides overestimate the on the other side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap is actually amongst progressive activists on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on the right. So the most engaged in the political process also have the inaccurate views of the other side.

But perhaps the best news of all is there are very practical things that every one of us can do every day help heal the divides in our nations and our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off and out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife and I, we watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately saw an improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have found more time spent on the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is really bad our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon in different ways, like media overload or doomscrolling or headline anxiety. You see, more news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just us out.

Second, we can spend more time, preferably offline, with real people who are different us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will empower you. You see, it’s just harder hate up close. “Tell me more about why you feel that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each other by our political identities first. for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a terrible aspiring bassist in a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m an American. How about you? You see, if we look beyond our political tribes, we actually find shared identities and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, we serve others. Service and volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook on and the people around us. Some forms of regular have even been associated with lower blood pressure. There is nothing better for the soul or society than back. Aristotle really was on to something when he described and summed up the essence of life as: “Serve others do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to develop the classical political virtues of humility, and moderation, without which, as John Adams explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, I know it’s laughable to talk about words like humility in political discourse, but I truly believe that it is only way for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. the words of Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure it is right. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the of other men and women.”

And I started with a quote from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom is not ours way of inheritance. It must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, it comes only once to a people and those in history who have known freedom and then lost have never known it again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our solemn duty in our generation to once again secure freedoms endowed to all of us from on high. We cannot wait politicians or the media to do it. It will take real work, hard work by each of us. But we remember how to disagree without hate.

We must rise and meet that radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, our opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an easy answer, it is a simple one. If we really want to change the world, we have start by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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