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You are here: Home / Quynhhx / How to disagree with respect — not hate

How to disagree with respect — not hate

9 Tháng 8, 2024 by admin

In 1967, Ronald Reagan became the governor of the State of California. In his inaugural address, talked about the peaceful transfer of power, something he described as “the magic of the commonplace routine, which makes it a near miracle to many of the world’s inhabitants.” He then went on to utter an iconic phrase that would repeated by politicians for decades to come. “Freedom is a fragile thing,” he said, “And it’s never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Now like countless others, I have used that many times, but I have a confession to make. I never believed it. Surely, after 250 years of this stuff, we no longer have to worry about losing it. I’m not pleased to report I actually believe it now.

The first cracks in my confidence came during one those commonplace routines of transferring power as Lieutenant Governor of State of Utah. It was my duty to certify the votes the electors for the presidential election. While the meeting to do so was open the public, it was so commonplace and routine that no one ever showed up. As I walked into the room, I was stunned to see dozens of protesters screaming that the election had been stolen and demanding that we violate state and change the votes of the electors.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re probably wrong. This was not 2020. This 2016, and the protesters were Hillary Clinton supporters.

Now it got far worse somehow, four years later. With the election less than two months away, friend and I were talking and lamenting about the state of our our country following a summer of destructive protests by the extreme left and an extreme right was already undermining the validity of an election that hadn’t even happened yet. “Isn’t there something you can do,” she asked.

Well, that question haunted me all weekend, I picked up the phone and called my opponent. By the way, I was running for governor at the same time Trump and Biden were battling for the presidency. I my opponent, a Democrat named Chris Peterson, whom I respected, and said, “Hey, Chris, this is Spencer Cox. I have a crazy idea. if we filmed a campaign ad together?”

I could almost hear the confused look forming on his face. his credit, he agreed, and one week later, we were in a studio together. Let’s watch.

(Video) I’m Peterson. And I’m Spencer Cox.

CP: We are currently in the final days of campaigning against each to be your next governor.

SC: And while I think you should vote me —

CP: Yeah, but really, you should vote for me.

SC: There are some we both agree on.

CP: We can debate issues without degrading each other’s character.

SC: We can disagree without hating other.

CP: And win or lose, in Utah, we work together.

SC: So let’s show the country that there’s a way.

CP: My name is Chris Peterson.

SC: And I’m Spencer Cox.

(Together) And we approve this message.

(Applause)

Well, the response instantaneous and overwhelming. The ad went viral. Neither of us saw it coming. There were media from all over the world, millions of views and shares. Perhaps there really is an exhausted majority, I remember thinking to myself, and maybe this is the message want to hear.

I could actually feel my faith in the idea start to rekindle. The popularity of the ad validated my that most people really do want their political leaders to the values that we teach our kids. That we can disagree hate and contempt, even that we can find ways to treat each with respect even when we disagree. It seemed like there was a hunger for architects instead arsonists.

My hunch was confirmed one year later, when a professor submitted a version of our ad to the Polarization and Social Change Lab as part of a huge depolarization experiment. It was chosen as of 25 interventions to be tested on over 30,000 people. The result? Our ad actually had a measurable depolarization effect, a reduction in urges towards violence. It turns out there really are things that we can do to the trajectory of the United States.

Now look, I get it. It’s easy to a little hopeless as Americans once again barrel towards an election unsatisfying candidates and campaigns. But there is good news. Over the past six months, 20 from all across the country have filmed similar ads, most of them with public servant from the opposing party. And the data to show that people really are hungry for something different. to polling from More in Common, 70 percent of Americans hate the divisiveness in politics. And it also turns out … Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are. The problem isn’t how far the average Republican and the average Democrat is on the actual issues. In fact, we’re not different than other Western democracies. The problem is how far apart we think we are. Due large part to conflict entrepreneurs in both the media and politics, both sides overestimate the extremism the other side by about 30 percent. Now interestingly, this perception gap actually strongest amongst progressive activists on the left and amongst extreme conservatives on right. So the people most engaged in the political process also have the most views of the other side.

But perhaps the best news all is that there are very practical things that every one us can do every day to help heal the divides in our nations our neighborhoods. First, we can start by turning off tuning out some of those conflict entrepreneurs. My wife I, we stopped watching cable news 11 years ago and immediately an improvement in our marriage, our family, and our mental health.

(Laughter and applause)

Now that always elicits a laugh, but we’re not alone. Studies have found that more time spent the latest headlines, whether through social media or traditional media outlets, is bad for our mental health. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon different ways, like media saturation overload or doomscrolling or anxiety. You see, more news, on all the time, isn’t making us smarter, it’s just stressing us out.

Second, we can more time, preferably offline, with real people who are different than us. In the words of Bryan Stevenson, proximity will you. You see, it’s just harder to hate up close. “Tell more about why you feel that way” is a magical request.

Twenty years ago, we rarely identified each other our political identities first. As for me, I’m a father. I’m an NBA fan. I’m a aspiring bassist in a band. I’m a Utahn. I’m American. How about you? You see, if we look beyond political tribes, we can actually find shared identities and friendships that unite instead of divide.

Now third, can serve others. Service and volunteering help build up communities and improve our outlook on life and the people us. Some forms of regular volunteering have even been associated with lower blood pressure. There is better for the soul or society than giving back. Aristotle really was on to something when he described and summed up the of life as: “Serve others and do good.”

Fourth, and finally, we can work to develop the classical political virtues humility, patience and moderation, without which, as John Adams explained, we all become ravenous beasts of prey. Now look, I know it’s almost laughable talk about words like humility in political discourse, but I truly believe that it is the only for us to remember how to disagree without hate and contempt. In the words Judge Learned Hand, who so eloquently stated, “The true spirit of liberty is the which is not too sure it is right. The spirit liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other men and women.”

And I started with a from Ronald Reagan. He went on to say that freedom is not ours by way inheritance. It must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people and those in history who have known and then lost it have never known it again. Ladies and gentlemen, is our solemn duty in our generation to once again secure freedoms endowed to all of us from on high. We cannot wait for politicians or media to do it. It will take real work, hard work by each of us. But we must remember how to disagree without hate.

We must rise up and meet radical call to love our enemies — even, especially, our political opponents. It’s … It’s not an … It’s not an answer, but it is a simple one. If we really want to the world, we have to start by changing our own hearts.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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